This morning on the tube to Euston a lovely young man gave me his seat. I thanked him with a smile and told him how kind he was, he said that if he does something good in the morning then it will set him up for the day. We had a little chat and told his girlfriend that he was a keeper.
However, I have not always been this open and accepting of someone giving me their seat on the tube!
When it first happened to me I was devastated. I was in the worse throws of menopause and I felt like death, in constant pain, tired all the time and I looked rough as well.
It was autumn time and I had my big coat in my arms and when the young lady offered me her seat I obviously refused point blank.
I was on a busy tube and would have loved to sit down, my aching hips and spine were screaming out to me, but my vanity was stronger!
That time to placate my vanity, I told myself and my sister that it was because she thought I was pregnant; I had my big coat in front of me, which could have been a bump!
For god’s sake! But I just had to justify it somehow!
Why would someone think I needed their seat?
My sister then told me it has happened to her the first few times and at first she was equally put out!
The second time it happened I was on my way to my friend’s salon for my hair maintenance.
This time it was by a lovely looking young man, I was flattered as he said that he was getting off the next stop anyway, so took the seat gratefully. When he did not get off and stayed on for longer than me, I was really put out, obviously he was offering me his seat because he was a lovely young man that fancied me! (if you really know me you know that I am joking!)
When I arrived at the salon I burst in and asked Mathew and his male colleague “so, what do you see when you see me?!!” pointing at myself up and down, they looked really scared as I was obviously very manic looking. Tentatively they gave me lots of compliments, bless.
You see the trouble is when one is feeling, tired, anxious, miserable and in pain, if something like this happens it knocks ones confidence even more.
I have to say the first 2 times it happened I was devastated but now realise it was just another part of my journey of acceptance, ageing and menopause.
Acceptance is a really big emotion and word, I remember having a session with one of my many therapists, he explained fear and acceptance are big emotions. Fear stops or drives us doing something and acceptance; once embraced makes life a whole lots easier.
I now have embraced menopause and ageing; but lets see how my blog reads like at 61 shall we!?
At the moment I have my menopause symptoms and pain from injuries under control and feel pretty good most of the time, I have accepted that I am no longer a spring chicken and at 51 I really need to be thankful for so many things.
Being pain free and not feeling constantly tired it fantastic, I have to be careful I exercise regularly, eat well, practice mediation and surround myself with good energy, if I don’t then I can feel myself spiral downward both physically and mentally. I now know my triggers.
As I know life will probably throw me another curve ball at some point, but in the meantime I will take the seat on the tube with a smile, be thankful of what I have and how I feel as ageing and menopause will affect everyone at some point in their lives; even those smug Millennials who think they are untouchable, just as I was at that age!
I would be interested on your thoughts meno’s!
Hugs.
